I thought this would be very easy to write but it is actually not. It has been running and rolling in my mind for I don't know how long but I have actually never wrote it down. So here goes.
My always and still "What if" is....... What if my life is a tad easier? Will I still be like this? Or will I still be a princessy Oen? I don't know. I guess I will never know.
I had a nice life before everything fell apart. I can't say we fell apart, like, doomsday kind of fall apart. We were always doing quite well, but falling down is never easy. I gotta say, I hate when it bleeds. It hurts and it's hard not to be bitter about life.
Things are better now. We believe that God is with us all these time, and He will stick around no matter what. What if my life is a tad easier? I probably will never have this kind of faith.. or the love of God.. and the love of others, too. But maybe I will too. Who knows, right?
If my life is easier... I will probably never met these beautiful people of mine.
Or maybe I will, but I will have no chance to see how faithful, kind hearted and loving they can be in rainy days? I will have no chance to meet such companions that are willing to walk with me through the dark and storm, through the tears and joy.
For that, I praise God with all my heart for His love is faithful and amazing.
Thank you, you you you and you you you for making me believe that life is so much more than all the shit that happened in my life.
What if my life is easier? Who cares, man. Seriously, I don't.
*merenung*
12 years ago
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