Sunday, July 20, 2014


Have you ever been so tired, you feel numb and can't feel any emotion?

Yes, like a zombie, exactly.

Being this busy, and tired all the time kinda ruin my health. I get tired even more, and now cough and flu are my occasional visitors. SUCKS, I KNOW!

As I remember, I was one of the strongest person in this whole world - hehe, lebay. No rain can beat me down to fever. My last heavy runny nose was 2 years ago (and that happened after idk, maybe more than 5 years of no runny nose) - I usually have little flu or cough, take vitamins and warm shower and enough sleep, the next day I know, cough and flu was just a history.

I even kerokan almost every month this year! Is this becos I'm aging? darn, that might be true..... *shrugged*

Lately my stress reliever is mostly cooking (not only eating hehe). I found that prepping, like cutting onions, or tomatoes etc in small cubes can really calming. Or give a julienne to carrots. Yes yes yes. Uh, I got the urge to do that now!

That is, my friend, what aging can do to you! Ha!

I sometimes can't feel any emotion, like when I am supposed to be pissed off, I can just... "ah yeah, man, that's ok." Or when I am supposed to be surprised, I will just... "oh, wow." - so much for the expressive me. I am always the expressive kind of person.

Maybe I am just tired. Maybe I am truly an alien. Maybe I am dead - and now a zombie. Maybe, who knows?

And... I need to burn some fat, cos in November I will be my friend's bridesmaid. Cooking means eating. The more I cook, the more I eat. That is what stress does to me most of the times. YOU ARE SO MEAN, YOU, FAT!

But one of my friend said, being skinny not always means healthy. Lose weight and cut down fat in a healthy way = exercise (which is not my forte, like, never ever ever ever!).. and he decided to hand me his old stepper.. and it has brought so much pain to my thigh and tummy.. and I tried to befriends with jump rope as well. We're not bff yet but... we're working on it.

I try to eat healthy, too. Drink more water - and avoid sugar in any kind (food, bevs, uh those yummy donut. man.) and everytime I "need" a yummo bevs, as in coffee, vanilla bean frappe, or taro milk bubble tea, I will remind myself constantly that I actually don't need those diabetes-on-a-cup. AND THOSE ICE CREAM, TOO. I MISS YOU ICE CREAM :____(

I still do eat carbs, cos I can't seem to function properly without carbs, as in like uhhh-i-wanna-die kind of hunger. I just change unnecessary carbs to veggies. Like when I'm having steak... I'd rather have salad than french fries - or mashed potatoes. Which is yum-er. I know.

Ah and I am prohibited from fried food as well - thanks to Mr. Healthy (who is crazy about exercising) - in fact, fried food (especially with batter and deep fried) is my comfort! See you in a while, deep fried goodies! THIS IS A FORBIDDEN LOVE!!!! I WILL MISS YOU HEAPSSSSS!!!!

I change my habit of eating... such as eat fast, and lots of drink after. I now am trying to chew slowly and have lots of drink before i eat. Then I cut unnecessary ingredients like mayonnaise, change it to plain yoghurt (that surprisingly can do the work really well). But I still can't and won't trade white bread to whole wheat bread (Seret, bok!) - or chicken thigh to breast.. and No, you can't have my chicken skin xP

I know I tend to become hungry in between lunch and dinner, and in between those in betweens (!?!?) So I drink tea, or water, or grab granola bars, or think about something that will shoo shoo my appetite (and this is hard cos I hardly lost my appetite blahhh).

But I do cheat sometimes (No, not sometimes, I cheat a lot). Carbs still taste good, like.. seriously, how can you cut rice when you eat Padang food? or yummy pasta that you know you can cook well - easy and yummy and yummmm! Don't forget about mom's plain french toast - or her plain fried rice. So so good.

In fact today I had pempek for brunch, and just had a stroopwaffel from my auntie - with coffee (of course, they're soulmate, you can't split them apart) for afternoon snack, yum!

Eh, I'm taking this drink water thing seriously, loh. I drink min. 2 glasses of water before I go to bed, after waking up I take around 4 glasses of water or a regular bottle. Just gulp it away. I constantly check on the color of my urine after I peed hahaha... gross but I think I need to... and now I think I become obsessed with my pee. They said if your urine looks slightly like lime juice as in light yellow, you're good to go. And when I found my pee is healthy I was like, pat pat on my shoulder, well done, Oen, well done.

The thing is... I still don't like to exercise. I don't like going to gym. I don't like anything to do with sweat, unless it involves the act of put some food into mouth, chew, swallow, and have a happy tummy (Don't tell me you have never eat until you sweat, that is not even humane!) Heheheheehe.

Oh, my dear stepper and jump rope, I secretly despise you, there I said it.

WHO CREATE THE TERMS EXERCISE ANYWAY?!?!! One day if I met this person (maybe in limbo), I will give him/her a high five, right on his/her head, with a force in it.. or in bahasa, TOYOR!

Man, so much for being healthy ya?

I do this not just becos I want to lose weight, but I still wanna live a long life. A long healthy life. It's just about time to rearrange what I eat, and how I live my life. The hardest part for me is to not sleeping late cos I am working freelancely with a daytime side job as well.. shhhh, hard hard. But I'm trying to.

And I never count my calories intake. It will drive you crazy, people said. Crazy like super stressed. Just eat wisely, man. YOLO is YOLO. What it actually means, depends on how you see the life.

I like to put it this way: You only live once - live it wisely. :)


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