uncertainty

been staring this blank page for... like hours...
i don't know what to type :|

i don't know what i am anymore.
i don't know what is going on.

i just need some times alone.
or maybe not.

the time is ticktock-ing.
and there's nothing i can do to make it stop.
or to make mine stop.
the ticktock inside my chest.
sometimes i want it to stop
just a little while
so i can't feel anything.
so i can't see anything.
so i can't think anything.

maybe.. i just need some times alone.
or.. maybe not. perhaps not.

you sometimes know
when things are broken
it cracks.
it breaks.

i did something stupid, tho.
really stupid.
and i'm eager to do that again tonight.
it didn't shoo this away
but it helps a bit.

no, in fact, it didn't.

i need some times alone?
no. maybe i just want you to accompany me.
and we can talk about nothingness in life.
stare at the skies and laugh pointlessly.
all those embraces.
all those tears.
all those laughs.

i wanna be whole again.
i need to be whole again.

soon.

how soon?